DOA Community Blog #6: Why Am I Going to TFC, Much Less Competing?

In the near-past 2 years since Final Round back in 2013, I've given a majority of people in the DOA community more reasons to hate me than like me.  I've lost tournaments (some more poorly than others), I've lost confidence, many give the impression that I'm not good enough to socialize with them, and I've been called a fraud every so often by others to the point where I believed it myself.  With the Road to TFC events in motion, there is expected to be a lot of people showing up to this major in North Carolina, many of whom don't see eye-to-eye with me or have ridiculed me in the past.  I may have a handful of friends here and there, but at the end of the day, the detractors outweigh the devotees.

That being said, why am I going to TFC despite the expected vitirol?  Sure, I may be going for experience and supporting the community, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will be a good experience, or whether my "support" will be little more than just being another number to keep the interest of the game going and getting free pizza for everyone, which looks like my only purpose for being there to compete. I'm not exactly wanted there for the right reasons.

I'm taking quite a risk here.  I may not even survive the weekend if I'm not careful.  It's gotten to the point that unless I pull some miracle and do well in this tournament, I will not only decrease the chances of regaining lost friendships, but won't hear the end of this fraud talk.  Or worse, I may end up being invisible to most people.

But DOA needs that support more than ever.  It's a sacrifice I have to make in order for its competitive community to keep thriving.  And the more I and others support it, the more likely majors will exist... which means there will be more opportunities to prove myself as a player - no, a human being - to the entire community.  So if it means enduring more ridicule because I didn't do well enough, then so be it.  At least the few friends I still have will still support me, as I will support them.  Whatever the outcome, TFC's gonna be a huge DOA tourney, and one that may go down in history.  I may as well make the most of it, face my fears, put up with the vitirol, and look at the big picture.

To the remaining friends I do have in the community, see you around.  I will be going to TFC, and not to spectate, but to compete.  I don't know how far I'll make it, but it's better than not trying at all.  If by the slim chance I place high enough to get a sum of the prize money, I'll give it to someone else.  I never go to tournaments for money, but rather something as immaterial as acceptance.  As much as I fear rejection, being accepted and liked by everyone in the community is far more valuable to me than you know.

Anyway, there's my vent.  I'm going to get it over with, compete in TFC, and that's that.