I have to get this off my chest, because it's disturbed me for quite some time. I only chose to remain silent because back then, I was afraid of getting bashed for this unpopular opinion among those who do take pride in hatemail (particularly known, popular players). But now that I'm seeing this from people that are bragging about getting hatemail just for the sake of it, I gotta take a stand and speak my mind, 'cause this shit right here is getting out of hand for some people. It's like every scrub under the sun wants "street cred" for being that guy taking candy from a whining baby.
Yes, I said it, and this subject title blatantly implies it... if you taking pride in receiving hatemail online, you're playing a fool's game fishing for bragging rights. Hatemail is not something to be proud of, much less show off for all the internet to see. If anything, it only makes the FGC more toxic than it already is. But before we go into that, I wanna make an explanation of what hatemail is:
Hatemail is a term used for when the opposing player (typically a bad sport or someone who's just plain asinine) sends you a message over the internet complaining about either how you won, how you play, or if they're on the winning end, add insult to injury on your loss by insulting you even more.
The type of hatemail I'll be talking about on this subject is when you - the person winning - receives hatemail from that person.
So why is this foolish? I'm sure you'll hear from many people that receiving hatemail is a good thing and that you should embrace them like war scars or medals to show off to your friends in public, but that's a major distortion of the truth. Nowadays people miss the actual point of what kind of hatemail should be exposed to the public, and others that aren't truly important. Keep in mind that when you're in a community and trying to build it, the one thing you don't want to do is vehemently demonize and alienate that random player you played online to people in your community that got upset with your loss, especially when there were no personal threats involved.
Remember when you were that aspiring player that thought you understood your game, but got your ass handed to you in real competition over what you thought were "basic" tactics, "non-skill" tactics, or heaven-forbid, "cheap" tactics because you didn't know how to defend, counter, or even avoid them altogether? If not, then you, sir and ma'am, are a liar and then some. Anybody who's anybody has gone through that phase of thought at least once in their lives as casual players aspiring to be more competitive, so you're doing a disservice to your own community by taking the first step in denial.
Even I thought I knew what it took to be a solid player in DOA. But on that fateful day online in DOA2 Ultimate in late 2005, just a month before DOA4 hit the shelves, I got the beating of a lifetime by a former member of the now-defunct DOA Central by the Gamertag of The Iron Ninja. I formally met him on the site first, and at the time I was bent on using Helena, who much to my chagrin, was the weakest character in the game on terms of tiers. She just didn't have many strong options compared to others in the cast, and after playing a set against Iron Ninja's Hayabusa, I was thoroughly devastated, even to the point where even I had the temptation to "pass the salt" or in fighting game terms, share my frustration. However, this never happened. But my point is that the urge was still there. I felt in my mind that I knew it all, and had the urge to justify and make excuses about it.
Luckily he was able to understand how I felt without my even saying so, and encouraged me to keep playing folks on the site once DOA4 hits, turning my frustration to determination. Through this, I made a promise to myself that despite what others do or say, I will not pride myself in getting hatemail, but rather try to avoid responding to it (especially if I can't help with their problem), or better yet, not dignify the weight of its importance by exposing it on the internet. It's because of this mentality that I am indifferent to hatemail, though there are some cases more disturbing than others that should be addressed.
So at this point you're wondering what I'm trying to say. What I'm saying is that there is a right way to handle hatemail, and there is a wrong way.
What you shouldn't do: When you get hatemail for winning or whatever, don't show it off, especially when you weren't being personally threatened. It's trivial, childish, and metaphorically speaking, suggests that you want a cookie for making a baby cry, to be brutally honest. You can get that kind of excitement just fooling around at the mall, provided you don't get caught by the mall cops. Not to mention, it makes you look like a jerk among those less experienced just looking to have fun and not worrying about being a better player. It advocates more hatred among players and forms anti-player cliques, resulting in even further divisions within what's supposed to be a unified community supporting the same game.
What you should do: Play your best by all means, but be mature when you handle those who whine and complain. If you can't help the player overcome their trouble spots, the least you can do is offer to recommend someone who does. If that doesn't work, leave them be, block the player, and pretend the incident never happened. For all you know, the player could just be having a bad day, and just think how you would look if one day that player you were bad-mouthing about had a change of heart one day and saw what you did. I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but always, always give them that benefit of a doubt.
And lastly, if you're being personally threatened through hatemail - and by this, I mean real threatening, such as taking your life, bomb threats, gun threats, threatening family members, etc. - please make that known. In the crazy world we live in full of wack-jobs and people just plain not in the right mind, it would be in your best interest to take it seriously, regardless of whether they know where you live or not. If they act this way toward you - a total stranger probably kilometers away from you - then there's no telling how this person would act if there was a more local person around. Death threats, hell, threats in general, are serious business. DO NOT be afraid to call them out, even if they turn out to be just internet tough guys who can't really put in that work. That'll teach them a lesson, at least... a very hard one.
Good read, Clay
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